September 22, 2006
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Work and Loss
I'm less than half finished with my project of digging the worst of the clay from this front bed, but I thought I'd show you a picture of the progress. The part of the bed closest to the camera has been dug already to at least 9 inches and closer to a foot in many areas. I added humus, topsoil, and manure to replace the clay clods that I dug out and hauled away. The plants that I dug up were replanted in the front area. I'll only be going as far as the house this fall, and if I'm able, I'll continue digging the area in front of the garage next fall. It's just too much to do at one time. There will be lots of new daylilies going in this bed -- extended bloomers and rebloomers. They are in pots in the back garden now waiting for their new home.
We went to a funeral today. A friend's son killed himself Saturday. It was a difficult service to attend -- very difficult. Our friend's son, an intelligent well-loved man in his 50s, left instructions for his funeral, choosing readings, songs, etc to be included. His father -- our friend's husband --died only last winter, and now this horrible tragedy she must somehow learn to accept. My heart really goes out to her. I know the pain she is feeling -- and will be living with for so much longer than people who have not faced a similar loss can imagine.
This verse was on the back of the funeral program.
Memorial I
If you come as softly
as wind within the trees
you may hear what I hear
see what sorrow sees
If you come as lightly
as the threading dew
I shall take you gladly
nor ask more of you.
You may sit beside me
silent as breath
and only those who stay dead
shall remember death
If you come I will be silent
nor speak harsh words to you --
I will not ask you why, now,
nor how, nor what you knew.
But we shall sit here softly
beneath two different years and
the rich earth between us
shall drink our tears.
Audre Lorde
Comments (9)
Oh Alice, I'm so sad to hear about your friend's loss! I know it's especially hard on you also!
I'd read that there was no ammending clay that it just had to be replaced. :p So sorry to hear about your friend. :cry: I am praying for her to have peace from God... it's the only I've seen people go on in these difficult places. :heartbeat:
Today's funeral was very difficult indeed. Not because it was not well planned or well executed, but rather because I have SOME inkling of what pain our friend is having to endure and will continue to endure, and because I knew it dredged up extremely painful memories for you, and also because my own grief was still so fresh it seemed that healing scabs were being ripped off.
Lump in my throat and prayer on my lips for you and Chris. The poem was heart wrinching. I can only imagine the pain.
You have worked so hard in the garden...here in Georgia, I've heard that Georgia red clay has many uses...making pots to put the flowers in is one...and right now I can't think of another thing.
Alice, so very sorry for your friends loss. It's impossible for anyone who hasn't experienced a loss such as this to fully understand the paiin, no matter how hard we try. Love and hugs to both you and your friend.
That poem is beautiful. Suicide of a loved one is so hard to face, and that poem really expresses the feeling. I am so sorry that your friend has to go through this and that her son had to go through the mental state that caused him to take his own life. I have lost two students to suicide, and a good friend lost her brother just last month. I don't understand the depth of dispair needed to commit suicide, but I do understand that the survivors really need to be able to express their feelings. As for your garden...wow, that is a lot of work!!!
I'm so sorry. I'm in tears, and I didn't know him at all.
hope u'r ok.anyway,tq for the smiley script i got on ur page
Dear Alice,My heart goes out to the family ,this is a pain that never copletely goes away.Even when you come to the point of being able to remember them without tears and can talk about the good times,memories of the funny,and heartwarming and loving things they did,and how much we shared of happy times,,,,All it takes is hearing of someone else being hit by this terrible tragedy to bring back the pain and your heart swell in sympathy for their famlies and friends remembering and feeling you own hurt Isent prayers to Our Father in Heaven to make Himself known to them and to comfort them and stay especially near them in the coming days easing the pain and helping them to heal and think of them in happier times I ,we lost 2 Grand-sons by suicide The oldest because he felt guilty of a sin he thought unforgivable ,he was sorry for what he'd done in moment of strong temptations ,but never asked It was forgiven.He was only 19 yrs old It was a shock to everyone ,no one even could have known the circumstances it all happened so quickly,few days later another young man also like part of the family ,hung himself for same sin adultry..he was in early 20's also tempted by same woman It was a terrible shock to family when it came out and no one had any inkling of anything wrong it all happened so fast But the pain and grief came hard and fast and took a long time for some to forgive and heal The younger Grand-son missed his brother and unbeknowenced (?] to anyone was carrying a guilt that he was partly to blame because his oldr brother used his hunting gun in the suicide, when he reached 19 yrs old used same gun for his suicide very hard times Their Dad {my oldest son }and their Mom had devorced while they were young She remarried . We didnt see much of the younger boy But as the older one got older came often well liked ,kind and thoughtful young man ,who was fun to be around and I have happy memories of time spent with him .I didn't mean to go on so prayers to the family love leona
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